Sunshine

Today was a good day b/c it was SUNNY outside. It hasn't been sunny in about 10 days. Needless to say, these past 10 days I have desperately NEEDED sunshine! Today was my day b/c it arrived.

This is the year of 30. Tomorrow one of my friends from high school turns 30. I knew him really well for about 2 years and now don't have a clue where he is located... but don't really care either. Not in a mean way, I just don't care... no need to talk to him. Make sense? I just remember birthdays very well and this year a lot of my friends happen to be turning 30. Fun times!

Let me think: .... I don't have a lot to add about me. There will be a day where I might talk about my life dilema on cyber space but not yet.

I LOVE MY DOGS! I have enjoyed them so much in the past week. So many times in the past week they have brought me soooooo much joy! They do the funniest things. They make me laugh at them, myself, and life in general. I know.... people say the same about their kids, but these are my kids for now and I love it!

You know, I have been thinking so much about my grandmother lately. My dad's mother. She was an interesting lady and I really really adored her. I think it might be b/c she and I struggle w/ some of the same things in life. She would totally understand the situation I am in right now. She would have soooo much to say about it. I loved her. I remember our last conversation and our last time we spent the day together. It was a cold December day in Victoria, Tx. She died 6 days later. I will never forget all of the little things about life that she would tell me. They make so much more sense now that I am a little older. She was pretty damn amazing that lady! I only wish she was here now to talk to. It would be great to pick her brain and wonder and ask her what I should do. She was brilliant about life. I know she had plenty of heartache about life and that is what made her amazingly brilliant. I can only hope, that I will share one day w/ a granddaughter the way that she shared with me. Perhaps I should have titled this GRANDMA! I want to be as wise as her, but I don't want to go through the hardships to become that wise. I love you Grandma! I miss you.

Tomorrow is Monday. I hope that yours is a good one.
Happy Monday~
J

Sleepless night?

You know how sometimes you just feel this kind of night upon you?
Well, I feel it! I can't seem to fall asleep. I have already visited the cozy sheets and tried to make them my home for the next 6-7 hours, but my brain won't have it.....bummer!

Too much on the brain I suppose. My brain seems to be going down memory lane right now. Sometimes that is great and sometimes not so great. Right at this moment I can't decide if it is yet one of those not so great moments. Hmmm?!$!#$%!

What am I thinking? A LOT OF THINGS ... one in particular: Just how truly blessed I am. Yes, life has really thrown me some curve balls and waiting games, but who doesn't have those? If you are human, you've experienced it. One blessing: friendship! I was able to see my dear friend today. I gave her a gift that was special to me... something I wouldn't give to just anyone. That was fun for me. I love to give gifts that mean something. I think it is my number one love language....b/c I enjoy doing it!

Another blessing: Children~ the ones that I have taught and others that I have not yet met.... the more I meet, the more I learn about myself. They are honest. If you really want to know the honest truth about yourself, just ask a child. Honesty is on the tip of their tongues!

Another blessing: Considerate people. We all know them. I am talking about people who will do whatever it is they need to do to show you unconditional love! People who love you no matter what you put them through.... those are amazing people! Thank God for them.

I could list a million more, but I won't. I do hope that I can sleep soon. I really don't want this to be a restless night, but it sure feels that way right now. I need to pick up a great book and try to loose myself in it!

I also could talk more about me, but I won't b/c I don't really want to share! It's just too much to say w/out explaining the situation. I hope it turns out for the best~ I am sure it will.

Happy hump day soon~
Hugs to all my dear friends on V-day!
J

My life is good..............

It is amazing how it can take a child to remind you of that! Today, one of my precious children shared w/ me that once upon a time, her mother prostituted her out to her mother's own boyfriends! I was shocked, but I think only b/c it has been a while since I have heard that. I knew of one other student ( a long time ago) who had the same thing happen. This student today is the oldest of 6 children. They are all from a different dad.
Her mom found out the day before she recently left for jail that she was HIV positive. Needless to say, this child was removed from her home about one year ago. She misses her brothers and sisters b/c she basically was raising them. Her mother became HIV positive from this last babies dad.
My life is good.........

It takes days like today for me to realize why I do what I do. It changes my life daily. It is so important for me to be more than an EDUCATOR. That is 10% of the job these days. How can we expect our children to keep up with this amazing curriculum that must be mastered when they are dealing with issues such as this in their lives. My heart is broken for the broken-hearted children.

On a lighter note, tomorrow is FRIDAY. TGIF!!!!

I will get to see my very special friend tomorrow. I CANNOT wait. She wasn't feeling well at all last I heard. I hope she is better. You can never underestimate the value of an amazing friend. I have many ppl that I can call friends, but there is only one .... maybe two .... that I would call an AMAZING friend. I don't let just anyone into my heart. My heart has a lot inside of it, and if you are at all judgemental, you will not see inside my heart the way that she does. Thanks to you my friend.
I am soooooo blessed. I only hope that some of these children I have spoken about can be touched by a friend the way that I have.
I love you all my dear friends~
Happy early Friday.

Hugs to everyone who needs one~
Janell

Call the Counselor

My parents are coming!!!!
They have booked their flight! I must get hooked up w/ my counselor on the 13th and 17th of April. I love them, I do, but my heart started racing when I knew the tickets were being purchased. HELP!!!!!!!!

I have been busy doing whatever it is that I have been busy doing.

My baby turned one today!! I can't believe it. He is the cutest little pup you've ever seen! I adore him. I drank an El Presidente in his honor!!

Let's see..... I had a fun time w/ my dear friend on Tues. evening. It was great to get to see her. She had her hair highlighted and she looks beautiful. Fun and hip........... ; )
We might (pretty sure) get to go out Friday night! What will we do? We will be like animals off the leash. How fun.

I don't have a lot to add. I have a million things to say, but nothing that I want to share!!!!
; ) Let's just say that I have some new allergy shots that I get to start taking again! Fun times.
They say it should help! I hope so..........

I have a packed weekend so I don't know when I will right again.
Running is going well. I ran a 5k today in pretty good time. I won't say b/c you will always have someone who is faster, but I was proud of my time.

Today was HUMP day! Now, it is practically Friday!

Love you all~
Janell

Groundhogs Day

You know, when I was a kid, I never really understood the whole groundhog seeing his shadow and 6 more weeks of winter. It could be b/c I am from Victoria Tx and there was NO WINTER!!!!!! Happy Groundhogs day friends!

Today was better than yesterday all around. Except I helped a friend move apartments and that was sort of a poke in the eye.

Tomorrow is FRIDAY!! We all made it through another week.
I am looking forward to this weekend for several reasons, but one good reason is that it is supposed to be BEAUTIFUL. I think we all know how I feel about beautiful weather in the winter.

Well, you will be shocked but I don't have a lot to add to this. I am a bit tired and I think I will retire for the evening! It could have been all that moving ; ). I didn't even get a meal out of the deal and for those of you who have ever helped anyone move before, you know that is ALWAYS part of the deal..... or should be!!

For those of my friends who are teachers: there was A LOT of gas in my classroom today. NOT FUN!!!!! I think they served enchiladas in the cafeteria for lunch. Oh dear!!!

Happy groundhogs day,
Me
TGIF!!!!

There are no rules of architecture for a castle in the clouds."

Well, I found this quote today and I just loved it. It really seem to fit what I was thinking and where I was at that moment. A castle in the clouds would be a great place on days like I had today. There would be no judgement on what it looked like b/c it would be ever - changing. Clouds change all the time and I am assuming my castle would change size and shape at any given moment. How nice! How fun too! I know, this all sounds really far fetched but it is the way in which I was thinking today.

How do you know when you are ready? That is a question that you could ask for a MILLION different reasons. So: How do you know? Anyone out there know? I could pretend like I am trying to be vague, but in reality, isn't that a question you could almost ask for anything? Like: when to buy a new car, marriage, divorce, new house, job, new running shoes, etc. Makes sense doesn't it? I guess you never really know on some things, you just take the plunge and if it works out, well.. it must have been meant to be. I guess I answered my own question.

My friend: Hmmmmmmmm!@#$%#$%.... I don't know..... not much to say. I feel blessed that's all. We had some nice email exchanges today but that was it. There are times (opposite of what I said yesterday) where I do feel the need to push EVERYONE away. It helps me to sort through things I suppose.... I am just weird I guess. I think it is they whole NYC thing. It is easy to detach yourself when you really want to. It isn't anything about her..... I just have a lot on my mind I suppose!!!

For those of you who know me and are reading this.......... yes, I am down today if you haven't picked up on that already. It is just one of those days. My life is great. There isn't anything wrong with it at all, but I am just down today. I feel the need to leave all that I know and sort through. However, it doesn't work that way when you have a ton of great friends who would never let you just slip out for a while. It would only be for a bout a week and then, if I know me, I would be back w/ guns blazing and in full motion. I think you could all say the same. I don't tend to be down forever, but when I am down, I like to really sort through it sometimes.

I don't really know what else to add. I could add a fun joke to make you smile after you read this, but I really can't think of one. If only I could remember the good ol' fifth grade humor I am so familiar with. Nothing is coming to me. Let me think: Q~ Why did the chicken cross the road?
A~ To show the Armadillo that it was possible!!
There ~ Did you like it? I hope it made you smile. I worked hard to recall that one from the ol' brain!!

That's it for today. Have a fabulous evening and I see ya later.
Tomorrow is Thursday......... SO!

J